Wednesday, December 8

objects of worship and nourishment

I had a Soylent Green moment last night. Picked up a jar of horseradish relish out of curiosity. It tasted exactly like wasabi. Which isn't surprising, considering that most of what sushi joints dish out as wasabi is actually dyed horseradish to begin... it's on par with finding out that most places in SL actually water down their tabasco sauce. I remember pouring a veritable half bottle of tabasco on something and still complaining before the penny dropped. The relish tasted fricking awesome with bacon strips, by the way.

Now that we've dispensed with the nourishment bit, it seems that people will just about worship anything. Of course, some objects of worship can't be referred to as just anything. Take for instance, Salma Hayek. The Weekly World News (that den of journalistic integrity), asserts that a tribe in Africa worships Salma's boobies. Along with a significant portion of the male populace on the planet, if the pictures are anything to go by.

My pick for quote of the week:
"Salma's chest globes are magnificent forces of nature," gushes Kianga. Glad he err.. got that off his chest and made a clean breast of things. And people say religion isn't accessible. What could be more accessible than Salma Hayek's tits ? Oh wait.

This actually reminds me of how people in Bangkok hawk their Japanese porn VCDs. Walk down a busy corridor in Panthip Plaza and you're liable to have several people thrusting VCDs in your face. Literally in your face, as in the cover is about 2cm from meeting up with your face. Have that done several times in quick succession and you're liable to crash into other busy shoppers.

Stroll along the corridor
boobie alert ... VCD cover thrust in your face. Blink and refocus
Reacquire corridor visual. Take rapid evasive action to avoid bumping into oncoming shoppers.
boobie alert ... from 2cm away. Blink and try to refocus
Reacquire corridor visual. Mutter a pithy WTF?! and have it misinterpreted by overeager porn VCD hawkers.

Imagine what would happen if the cult of Salma boobie worshippers started evangelising on the streets ? You thought the persistent jeebus freaks were bad. Ain't seen nothing yet, me thinks.


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