Tuesday, April 5


Inspired by this post.

10 years ago
I was cramming for subjects that I disliked, for an exam I didn't want. I was living with my parents and I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. My entire life stretched out before me and I knew sweet fsck all about what I wanted from it.

5 years ago
I had gotten back from a stint outside SL and I was living with my parents again. Exams round the corner but the difference was that I liked the stuff I was doing now. No cramming necessary. Sometime inbetween 1995 and 1996, I had discovered something that I liked doing and paid the bills. Living on my own didn't produce the cliched reactions that I thought it would. I didn't appreciate my family more. Instead, I found I had a taste for doing my own thing and not being part of a crowd. Oddly, I grew up again. A few years ago, a wedding made me comfortable with my much older siblings and cousins. Now, I was not only comfortable, but an equal.

Started working for real later that year. It took ages to absorb that "yes, I am making that much money".

3 years ago
I had just returned from a harrowing experience outside SL. For the first time in 7 years, I was doubting if I wanted to do this shit for the rest of my life. I disliked work, I wanted to just mooch about at home. I was also officially a fatass for the first time in my life; no one believed it was ever possible, but there it was... Volunteered reluctantly for onetwo jobs and also moved work places. Later in the year, set a personal record for number of consecutive hours awake. Not sure how much work got done towards the tail end of the marathon, but remember inhaling multiple esspressos and falling asleep in the elevator.

2 years ago
Drop a steady income and a decent place of work to cast myself out into the blue yonder again. Not that it wasn't necessary, but I had wondered if growing "older" would have meant an end to such life changing decisions. Apparently not. For the first time, I'd be living on my own outside SL and not doing a real job. Scary.

1 year ago
Wonder how the hell I'd ever get to grips with the mounds of books and papers that are required reading for research. Wonder if I'd ever finish. Oh, and figure out that the UK is no different really from any other place I've been to. Have recurring flashbacks from childhood holidays to rolling grassland and tilled fields.

Last week
Swot and type furiously and juggle a few clashing deadlines. Reach another personal milestone; handle things without crashing and burning even when down with the flu. Other than the fever, optimism abounds.

Realize that I've (just barely) spent more time outside SL on my own than in it living with my parents over the last decade or so. And I'm still not finished here. Haven't got a clue about what happens after 2006, or indeed, after this semester. Ah, glorious uncertainty.

Realize that if I sit on my ass writing blog posts instead of papers, I'm likely to hang around here for a lot longer than 2006...


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