And if anyone is in the least inclined to form a band, the Swarming Midget archive is where you should look around for a name. Or here. Because a band named "LadyMonkey" is a guaranteed huge hit, obviously.
And the sparseness of this entry can be explained by this comparison of Java XPath engines. I've been using the libraries for most of the day. Deep frozen turkeys probably move faster than a Java XPath library crunching a largish document *sigh*.