pump it up

The recipient of a revolutionary inflatable implant which literally exploded onto the market, Candy Jones-Davies had just one objective in mind. She wanted to "out-J.Lo J.Lo". Unfortunately for her;

"... when one of the surgeons -- she's not sure which one, but she knows what he said -- started saying, 'Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

And now Ms. Jones-Davies describes her plight thusly. "I'm flat as a board, No one's going to sign a fashion model who looks like an 80-year-old man from the back". Let's spare this unfortunate from being the butt of too many jokes, shall we? Errm. Oopsie. She should have stuck to the good old "extra portions of fast food and no exercise" method.

And in other (related or not, you decide) news, the US military is offering plastic surgery (including breast enlargements) for free. The only quote that should worry people wishing to take up that offer:
"the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

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They told me I was gullible. and I believed them.