Wednesday, November 24

your civilization wants you!

NOTIFICATION OF COMPULSORY ENLISTMENT

Under the Emergency Powers Act (1939) as amended by the Defence Act (1978),you are hereby notified that you are required to place yourself on standby for possible compulsory military service in the Freezer conflict.

Because of cutbacks in Government expenditure in recent years it will be necessary for you to provide yourself with the following equipment as soon as possible:
* One pair thick rubber gloves
* One squirt gun filled with disinfectant
* Several dishcloths

Actually, I felt like Calvin playing Spaceman Spiff. Point the squirtgun at ugly mold growth inside the fridge, squirt till it dissolves (scowling and screaming "Die, alien scum" for effect), rinse, repeat. But at long last, the fridge looks clean. The biological lifeforms have been pulverized and stopped in their tracks; and only a faint citrus aroma remains.

To be honest, the whole kitchen really smells like an abattoir for overweight lemons, but it's still better than the earlier olfactory experience of rotting food, so I'm not complaining.

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